We all know that marrying someone for their looks is not the best
idea. But why?
Being attracted to someone is important in a
relationship. If you have no physical attraction to a person, then you
probably will not be interested in a romantic relationship, no matter
how witty or charismatic they may be. But if we only base our
relationship on how a person looks, we are likely to face a lot of
problems in the future. Here are a few.
1. Looks fade
Let’s be honest; we all know that the possibility of someone keeping
their good looks for all their lives is not guaranteed. Sure, there are
some people who just look better with age, but there are others that do
not. Wrinkles come, hair recedes, skin sags and there are lots of other
physical effects that come with aging. When you marry solely based on
looks, you may be disappointed with how someone changes over time. It is
the love and bond you develop for a person’s whole personality that
allows you to keep the flame alive long after the physique fades.
2. A person’s personality matters
Personalities really affect how a person looks at you. If someone is
the most gorgeous person on earth, but they have the worst personality,
you may not see them as attractive at all. Think about that bully
growing up, or a person who just really rubs you the wrong way. Do you
find him or her attractive? Other people may see him or her as handsome
or pretty, but because you know how his or her real personality, it may
be impossible to see past the bitter remarks or disrespectful behavior.
Get to really know a person before you decide he or she is the one for
you. Your initial attraction to outer appearance may change when you see
how he or she is on the inside.
3. Chemistry is more than skin deep
Chemistry consists of the ingredients that make up your evaluation of
a person. How he or she looks, smells and behaves makes up the overall
chemistry you have with him or her. You may think a person is physically
attractive with and attractive personality, but if there is no spark
when you kiss or hold hands then he or she may not be the one for you.
It is also important for you to meet who you are dating in person. If
you only communicate over the phone or online you are not getting the
entire picture. Even video chatting leaves some realities out (a smell
you just cannot stand, for example!). These things may seem petty or
superficial, but this is the person you are possibly going to spend the
rest of your life with. You need to have chemistry.
4. Unexpected things happen
Besides the natural aging process, there are other things that may
happen to a person that is beyond his or her control. Perhaps an
accident leaves him or her with a deformity, or a fire leaves scars.
Even getting pregnant and having children will change a woman’s body. If
you were with someone solely for his or her body, you would no longer
have a reason to stay. Truly seeing someone’s beauty, and loving him or
her for it, does not fade through these changes. In fact, in the face of
tragedy, your relationship can and should become stronger. This is when
you need each other the most. The person you marry should be someone
you trust enough to love you for who you are, not just what you look
like.
There are no guarantees in life, including a person keeping his or
her good looks throughout his or her lifespan. Time, unexpected events
and circumstances may affect a person’s looks. It is incredibly shallow
and arrogant to think a person will never change over time, including
yourself. Loving a person for his or her whole package — personality,
behaviors toward you and others, and even his or her little quirks — is
what keeps a relationship strong.
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